Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Jellyfish Monsters (Painting)

16" by 20" Acrylic & Mod Podge on Canvas; A small herd of jellyfish monsters harvests energy structures on a distant gas giant. Original.

Price Negotiable in Person. Email me!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

I straight up ate a baby squirrel (pictures)

This is my little buddy. I found him lying under a bush in a backyard in Suburbia. A little bit of blood out of his mouth and otherwise he looked fine.
Fair warning, this blog is about to get a little gross for the squeamish types so I'm going to put a jump in here


Friday, April 15, 2011

Chuckling, butt-picking monkeys of the Albany Common Council

The political process can be made more interesting and engaging if words, those tools of infamous deceit, are discarded in favor of the signals and communiques being sent by the various limbs and facial expressions of those peculiar primates most able to put themselves in positions of titular power. While vomiting half-baked arguments and poorly researched speaking points, these sedentary mammals give away their true feelings without fail. Last night's meeting of some subcommittee or another about the Chicken Legalization was a great chance to watch these fascinating creatures at play.

Igoe, that crude, illiterate man, that pompous travesty of a fish, signaled like a lighthouse in a dark his rage at being forced to work and his amusement at the rabble of angry peons clogging his otherwise quiet and dusty oppression. Discomfort crossed his face last night, great sweeping waves of it, at facts unknown to him and expressions unexpected. Especially entertaining was the brief moment of surprised recognition that lit his face when the last speaker was talking about how people are afraid of things that they aren't familiar with. Brilliant. His favorite moment, I think, was when Mike Guidice mentioned that the chicken thing has taken up far too much time and money of the city. Joe smiled, just for a second, before he hid it again, as serious as ever, but I think his thought's went something like this: "You are correct, Mr. Guidice, your little fight sure has taken up too much time." Or he might have farted. It's hard to tell with old people.

Dom Calsolaro is a weird little troll person and was tickled pink to be able to get on the case of the other Common Council members about something that seemed important to him. I think that he thinks that this issue is going to lead to a very successful next election season, and I hope he's right. He got flustered and lost his cool more than once at the meeting, though, a play that may cost him with future legal battles with the conservative elements of the City Council.

Lester Freeman is something that is referred to online as a "troll." Shortly before this last meeting, he introduced an ordinance that had identical wording to the chicken bill, but replaced the small bird with a medium sized mammal, to whit a goat. On Albany Citizen One, he said, in response to the possibility of goat bites, "oh, that was ages ago, today's goat owners will be much more responsible in their ownership and, besides, the goats causing all the trouble were the billy goats." At the meeting he mentioned that his Caribbean heritage made this seem like an important issue, but the quote clearly shows that he is poking fun at the chicken boosters. I actually like the idea of goats in the city, but his farcical mimicry of the chicken legislation reveals his true and somewhat malicious intentions. Malicious, and hilarious. He wore a hat the whole meeting, sitting in something like a gallery and tossing out his irreverent observations at will. Brilliant. Class act.

Ron Bailey was there, a whale of a man, his tiny bespectacled head perched on top of his gargantuan bulbous body. Entranced by his telephone for the length of the proceedings, his voice raised only occasionally to throw out a half-baked query to keep up the appearance of engagement and otherwise content to mull in his own impressive bulk.

Jacqueline Jenkins-Cox was resplendent in a velor tracksuit and a Forever 21 graphic t-shirt, but visibly uncomfortable with the idea of chickens living in and around large primate encampments. Her biggest accomplishment at the meeting was backing up Joe Igoe's weak-kneed temerity.

Richard Conti is this little bulldog looking guy. He spent the whole meeting with his mouth curved into an adorably perfect upside down U, a cartoon effigy of the old man on the porch. Michael O'Brien, his spritely neighbor, provided an interesting contrast with more expressive features than any Councilperson and a shock of fantastic white hair.

Leah Golby was there, of course, but my far-left media bias puts me in an uncomfortable position to comment on her behavior. My seat behind her put me in an impossible position to even see her behavior, though, so no big loss! I think she recognized me so if she reads this I am saying Hi Leah I think you're hilarious and great. Cheers!

I think that's everybody who was there. These folks were arrayed in a semi-circle enclosing a seat (about two feet in front of Igoe's mopey grill) labeled "Defendant," the only spot left open for the citizens and townspeople interested enough to come in and take some of the load of decision making off of the backs of these poor overworked schmucks that couldn't be bothered to even Google some of the questions that they had about this issue that they have been working on for months. Having people in positions of power that do not know how to use the most basic and powerful tools available to our hopefully young species seems like terrible process to me, but they're being elected by people that don't know how to use these tools and fear them. Oh well, what the hell.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

A Quiet Night on Lark Street

dirtbike parking like a boss

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Delicious Pig Heart

Brined in salt water, a little balsamic vinegar, and its own lifeblood, the forcibly removed heart of Shovelhead the Pig cooked nicely with a little olive oil, salt, and pepper and made a chewy but tender addition to a dinner of sauteed onions and peppers and a pile of seasoned french fries with mayonnaise.

It's fun that you can use these in people.

Hudson Mohawk Reskilling Festival

This morning I woke up at the crack of six to take Kelly to a fun day of watching people day at the emergency room at Albany Med. Not being burdened with any pressing matters of a similar sort, I went to Troy for the day to attend the Hudson Mohawk Reskilling Festival, a fabulous luddite masterpiece of organization.

Rana gave me a ride, along with a big board for her presentation of the Youth Organix program down at Grand Street Community Arts. We went to the Farmer's Market first. It was pretty but I didn't have any money, so I didn't buy anything. There were these crazy mirrors and a pool.

The first presentation I went to was this Felix guy, a high school instructor from Massachusetts, showing off his awesome collection of dead animals and teaching people how to start fires and make rope from wild products. Tons of people were outside and the day was super pretty.

This dead owl was the real star of the show, fresh out of the freezer and still a little pliable so it seemed like he was just about to wake up. He's got wicked claws and huge wings and a floppy head. Felix is going to pluck him and mess up his body in a variety of useful ways.

I also went to a workshop where a lady told me about how to make yogurt and bread. There was a potluck and it was good but I was pretty tired from getting up so early today. The last speaker was a nice lady named Sharon Astyk from a farm up Western Avenue. She seems pretty pessimistic about the future and everything but I hope she's wrong anyway.

Kelly is going out dancing but I don't think I'm going to go along. Tired! Might drink some beers by myself instead.